An open letter on Friends United Meeting affiliation

At our annual sessions in the spring of 2006, my yearly meeting, Southeastern, wrestled for the second year in a row with the issue of our membership in Friends United Meeting. The body of about 150 Friends who were gathered there labored late into the night on our last evening together, struggling for a unity that evaded us. As midnight approached, only a few Friends left to go to bed. Most stayed, yawning but intently focused. We are fierce, we SEYM Friends, and we are passionate. We have a burning thirst for justice, and a deep love and respect for our LGBTQ members. We also have a broad theological spectrum among us as individuals, and an equally deep love and respect for those-- mostly Christian-identified-- Friends who draw support, sustenance, and affirmation from our FUM affiliation.

We finally crafted a minute that was cautiously and wearily approved in the wee hours of the morning. It stated that we would lay down our formal membership in Friends United Meeting for a discernment period of two years. At the end of those two years, if we did not find unity to rejoin, our affiliation would be permanently laid down. That was two years ago-- which means that at this April's annual sessions, we will revisit the issue once again, and presumably make a more-or-less-final decision.

To say that this has been weighing on me doesn't quite communicate the extent of my preoccupation. I have been worried, frightened, frustrated, and deeply concerned about this issue for the entirety of the past two years. Then, last week, the presiding clerk of FUM's general board circulated a letter he had received from the superintendents of five large, fairly conservative FUM-affiliated yearly meetings in the United States, referring to "current undercurrents [in FUM] that erode unity and undercut important ministry" and requesting that the board form an immediate, specific plan for confronting those issues. Since reading that letter, I have all but stopped sleeping.

When I lie awake at night-- thinking about this unsettlingly ambiguous letter, about my beloved yearly meeting, about Friends United Meeting as a whole-- I often find myself writing letters and scripting conversations in my mind. In these imaginary communications, I explain to Southeastern Yearly Meeting, my Quaker family, why I, a transgender, queer, unprogrammed young adult Friend who couldn't talk un-ironically about Jesus until I was almost out of high school, am aching for us to maintain our relationship with Friends United Meeting.

First, let me say that this position is a huge transformation from what I originally felt and thought when our FUM membership became a live issue. As a queer person who has experienced a vocational call to religious service, FUM's personnel policy seemed to me not only wrong in a general, moral sense, but also personally painful. I didn't see much reason to stay in an organization with such a discriminatory policy-- particularly since, as far as I could see, we didn't have much of a relationship to begin with. Growing up in SEYM, I was unaware for years that such a thing as programmed Friends or Friends United Meeting existed-- despite the fact that they constitute the majority of Quakers in the world today. I was shocked when, probably in my mid-teens, I discovered that my ultra-liberal yearly meeting was actually a member of Friends United Meeting. It didn't make any sense to me, mostly because I was embedded in the "us and them" mentality of a culture, in Quakerism and beyond it, that sees Christianity as a monolithic entity of socially-conservative fundamentalism.

The deconstruction of those us/them categories is one of the reasons I long for us to have a fully engaged relationship with Friends United Meeting. As long as we are members of FUM, they (Christians, programmed Friends-- whoever) cannot be "the other." If we begin to think of them that way, our illusion will be shattered by the individual relationships that are facilitated by institutional affiliation. I don't mean to say that our cultural and theological differences across branches are superficial; I believe them in most cases to be quite profound. But over the past few years, I have made some wonderful connections with Friends from solely-FUM-affiliated meetings, and I have seen that they are my spiritual kin. They are people like Terri, the wonderful, warm staff person whom FUM has sent to our annual sessions for the past three years, who has become a beloved part of our community. Or like my friend Cheryl, who is in a committed lesbian partnership and has labored for years with her FUM-affiliated yearly meeting to have them endorse the recording that her monthly meeting has given her as a minister. Or like my friend Betsy, who loves Jesus, preaches like wildfire, and just opened a store in her town dedicated to eco-friendly living. FUM, like Christianity as a whole, is far from being a monolith-- but we will never know that if we don't maintain meaningful individual and collective relationships within it.

But wait-- we have lots of Christians in our yearly meeting! We can learn these lessons from them, right? Which brings me to my next point. I had no idea how theologically diverse my yearly meeting was, until we started talking about our relationship to Friends United Meeting. I don't think this is a coincidence. Our discernment process has asked deep questions: Who are we, in SEYM? What do we believe? What language do we/should we use? Is Christianity a part of our identity as Friends, and if not, what is our relationship to a Quaker movement that has seen itself through several centuries as primitive/restorationist Christianity? Simply having these questions posed, and held firmly in our collective consciousness, opened up space for Friends in our yearly meeting to speak their most authentic spiritual language. Suddenly we were talking about the Bible, asking each other about Jesus. I experienced a new depth and richness in our worship, as we became more comfortable hearing each other's truth spoken on its own terms. It was struggle that pushed us to be more honest with one another, and I fear that, should we decide to give up on the challenge of authentic relationship with FUM, we will slowly go back to the way things were. Our spiritual language will shrink back to a tight, sterilized collection of un-offensive words.

So... what about the personnel policy? We were advised early on in our discernment process that we should not choose to remain affiliated with FUM in order to change the policy. To carry such an agenda would only frustrate us, and everyone else in the organization. The personnel policy is not changing anytime soon-- not with the level of divisiveness that this issue currently carries in U.S. yearly meetings, nor with long-overdue efforts to more fully include African Friends in FUM's governance structures. But I believe that it will change, sooner or later. Sooner, if the Friends serving on the general board are given opportunities for loving, non-confrontational fellowship and service with LGBTQ Friends and their allies. Later, if we all leave. Hearts and minds change through relationship, not rhetoric. No one will re-evaluate the personnel policy because we withdraw. They might re-evaluate the personnel policy because we stay, and appoint brave and faithful people to the general board who can be open about their identity as LGBTQ or allied while focusing their attention and energy on FUM's powerful service work (instead of pushing, or being perceived as pushing, an agenda that detracts from that work). There are already people doing this work of transformation-- serving openly on the board or in leadership positions in constituent yearly meetings, sometimes without ever mentioning the personnel policy directly.

And the work of FUM is worth being involved in. Having heard from those who are serving as staff and volunteers of its various initiatives, I have come to believe that FUM is doing important, transformative, and faithful work in culturally sensitive ways, and that work needs to continue as long as we are clear that God is leading us to it and it has relevance for those served. From educational and medical initiatives like Kaimosi Hospital and Ramallah Friends' School, to support for Kenyan Friends' peace initiatives over the past year, the work that I see FUM engaged in is, I believe, part of what Friends are called to in the world. Unlike Friends General Conference, which understands its purpose as service to North American Quakerism, FUM is committed to manifesting Quaker faith through an embodied, outward-focused commitment to a transformed world. The work is powerful and precious.

Finally, I hope you will forgive me if I pull a card (to use a rather un-Quakerly metaphor). It is the card of youth.

There is a broad, and I think growing, movement of Friends who are drawn to, and deeply invested in, cross-branch relationship building. Much of this energy is centered in young adult Quaker communities. My generation-- or at least, a large and energized subset of it-- is not interested or invested in the kind of isolationism at best, spiritual one-upmanship at worst, that has characterized intra-faith Quaker relationships since we started splitting into factions in the first half of the nineteenth century. We have been holding conferences and gatherings that reach across theological, cultural, and organizational lines. We are also holding a question in our hearts: How is God going to use the Religious Society of Friends... the whole Religious Society of Friends? Is there some vision, some wholeness, to live into?

Personally, I see each of the branches of Friends carrying a piece of the original message of the Quaker movement-- and a piece of Quakerism's potential for a spiritually vibrant future. I believe that everything we do to create and maintain authentic, deep relationships among the different branches of Friends is a step toward a more vital Quakerism. Because I carry this conviction, I am proud to be from a dually-affiliated yearly meeting-- and sad and scared that we may cease to be one, and others may follow in our wake. I wouldn't be so invested-- or experiencing such anxious insomnia-- if I didn't think this is a critical historical moment for Friends. What one yearly meeting does for unity or disunity in a single meeting for worship with attention to business can affect Quakerism for centuries to come-- just pick up a Quaker history book and trace the impact of Philadelphia Yearly Meeting annual sessions in 1827, the year of the Hicksite-Orthodox split.

I want to live out the next 60-70 (God willing) years of my life in a Quakerism that is committed to deep seeking, to dialogue, to relationships that challenge the people who are in them. I want to give that to my children and grandchildren. Long after the personnel policy is a dead issue, the fruit of our commitment to dynamic engagement, fellowship, and spiritual bridge-building (or the absence of that commitment) will be manifesting in the quality and vibrancy of religious life in Quakerism. It is to that ultimate goal that I hope we will turn our attention and focused discernment.


Blogger Liz Opp said...

Kody, you offer so much here. I can see why you are losing sleep: you care so much about people and faithfulness and love and Quakers and God.

A few passing thoughts, since it's late here:

1. Are Friends who are not connected to FUM or SEYM being invited to attend your annual sessions and hold it in prayer? Or just hold YOU in prayer?

2. Are you practicing, as best you can, to give this situation over to God, over and over and over again?

I'll leave it at that for starters. I do hope that you'll rest a bit more easily now that you've written a bit about what you're going through.

Liz Opp, The Good Raised Up

1:32 AM  
Blogger Brad said...

Hi, Kody; thank you for this very thoughtful piece. So much of it resonates with my experiences - not so much among Friends, but as a gay Quaker who has had similar experiences working with evangelical Christians. I have experienced so much warmth and goodness from that community, and it has challenged me in very good ways. My own faith has deepened as I have learned to appreciate the power of faith. At the same time, there has been a deep transformation among all of us as we have learned to appreciate our humanity, despite some differences in policies.

The "us/them" paradigm you mention is something that I have been sensitive to for years, and I think it is something that challenges liberal Quakers right now. Whether it is politics, or other issues, liberal Quakers (and others of liberal thought - and I include myself in this) have to be aware that to be open-minded and accepting should not be followed by "as long as you see things my way".

Being based here in DC, with the inauguration coming up, one thing I am seeing is Friends offering lodging (for various prices) to out-of-towners, but often "Quakers only". I struggle with this - are we talking membership? like-mindedness? open to conservative Friends? It's interesting.

What seems missing from so much of the talk, to me, are love, healing and reconciliation, with an internal focus. Anger, resentment, disappointment - all are about the other or focused on the other. But when we lead with love, I have found amazing relationships can emerge in mplace I never thought possible.

Finally, I love the "inter" work of the young Friends. I have felt the healing power of this in my inter-Christian work (inter-faith work is also important, but when the "inter" is among liberal Christians, Jews and Muslims, it's not nearly as challenging as working among liberal and conservative Christians). I think that the more of us (from the glbt community) are willing to stand up and say, please, let's be loving, I think great things will come. A term that has come to mind: "contemplative activism". I don't know what it means, but I'll play with.

Thanks again for your reflections. I'd love to meet you sometime on my way to/through Philly to NJ.

1:07 PM  
Blogger G Zachariah said...

Kody, your message speaks to the orientation in my heart toward the building of deep connection below the many differences we have. I recognized the power of Spirit moving in you, and I long to see the fruit of your labor. I, too, look for openings for connection, for opportunities for deep listening and common understanding. I trust we will all benefit from this leading.


1:11 PM  
Blogger John said...

SEYM Friends and their labored over minute speaks my mind. I too am concerned that FUM’s current personnel policy is not in the Spirit of Truth. It is not focused on inclusion but its focus is exclusion (it is discriminatory).

Some of the Meetings in FUM are liberal leaning and do not support the personnel policy. I have been an attendee at my Monthly Meeting (Englewood Friends Meeting) for over a year and have struggled with this issue when contemplating membership. We are a small, semi-programmed, pastoral, liberal leaning, Christ-centered, GLBT accepting Monthly Meeting but we are, nonetheless, part of FUM.

I agree with you, Friend, that the global work that FUM does is “powerful and precious.” It is my hope and prayer that FUM changes its personnel policy or I fear that it will cast a shadow on their mission.

3:01 PM  
OpenID Thomas said...

Kody - I came by this post from QuakerQuaker and find it transformational. I have watched my YM of origin, Baltimore struggle with their FUM affiliation in ways similar to what SEYM is experiencing. A long-ago visit to SEYM sessions is fondly remembered, and I hold those Friends tenderly as they move towards Truth this April. Thank you so much for writing this - I anticipate returning to this post for rereads often.

3:19 PM  
Blogger Cat Chapin-Bishop said...

Thank you, Friend. Your post speaks to my heart.

5:56 PM  
Blogger seeker65 said...

Wonderful post, just wonderful.

7:06 PM  
Anonymous Anne Anne said...

Wonderful. So masterfully spoken! Thank you.

7:30 PM  
Blogger Bill Samuel said...

Is that letter from the Presiding Clerk to which you refer available?

7:37 PM  
Anonymous Beth Gorton said...

Thank you, Kody. Wish I were as eloquent!

8:21 PM  
Blogger FJLG said...

Thank you for sharing your insights!

It is to me a mistery beyond my comprehension that passion of Quakers for building impossible bridges towards the other Friends, while almost ignoring all of the rest of the world.

I mean, the thing I like the most of Quakers is that we don't say we are kind of the "chosen people". But self-centering forever in reaching out only to other branches of friends seems to me like risking to self-rightousness.

I mean, sometimes our Monthly Meeting in Mexico City probaly is lacking of the kind of processes that the FUM issue allowed your Yearly Meeting to open. Hospitality is not a luxury, but an essential need for a deep religious experience, and hospitality means to welcome the stranger, not only the "ones like us".

¿What is the relevance of our Quaker faith today for the world as a whole? ¿How many external groups are finding like a good idea to belong to FUM, FGC, or both? I don't see any... ¿Why are we to expect conversion and theological hospitality only from and within the Friends?

In my experience, my liberal unprogrammed Monthly Meeting is stil not clear about how to welcome Universalist Friends (even if present members are not much of a Christcentered style). Maybe there could be an opprotunity for a simmilar process of spiritual deepening.

Regards from Mexico,

Francisco Javier Lagune Gaitán

8:52 PM  
Blogger Will T said...

Thank you so much for this letter. It resonates with me very much. I have found myself being deeply exercised by this issue for a while now. How can we speak of peacemaking to the world if Quakers cannot figure out how to make peace among ourselves? I am learning a lot about love and acceptance and the limits of words.

Bless you,
Will T

9:54 PM  
Blogger dest/jess(ie)/etc. said...

Koday my dear...have i mentioned lately that you RAWK? 'Nuff said.

I suppose another reson for those dual affiliated meetings to consider maintaining the relationship is that it forces FUM to continue to be in tension as it bridges the expanse between meetings who are much closer to an FGC mode of thought and those who lean more powerfully towards an EFI/EFC (last i heard, the name was in flux) mode of thought. Left-leaning YMs may not be able to single-handedly drive FUM more towards the left any more than they can single-handedly change that awful personnel policy. But perhaps they can, by their very presence, help to keep FUM from moving any farther to the right.

It also seems to me that FUM is one of the only bridges we still have with our friends in EFI/EFC, given that our direct relationship has often seemed to be strained at best. I haven't often felt a really strong drive towards convergence, as others have--my nonchristian perspective leads me to believe that maybe each organization is better able to serve its members if it remains separate, and i wouldn't want anything to happen to the society or friends that would call into question my membership--but i still want to maintain some connection with folks from those other branches, however strained. It could be awfully hard for FUM to help us continue to make that connection with EFI/EFC if we allow ourselves to write FUM off.

I'll think good thoughts for you and SEYM; it sounds like this decision is going to be hard and painful no matter what it is. I don't claim to know what the Divine wants of y'all, but i have faith that y'all will manage to find that truth and live into it.

10:13 AM  
Blogger Bill Samuel said...

Forcing tension is not always good. There has been so much tension forced on FUM for so long that it shows through in sometimes very unhealthy ways. Give FUM a break. Let it breathe. The constant hammering by those YMs also affiliated with FGC is not good.

1:50 PM  
Blogger Brad said...

I agree with Bill's comment about "forcing tension". It suggests that FUM needs to change, and forcing tension is a manipulation. I have found that when we just stay in relationship, and bear loving witness to each other, we learn to see ourselves, each other and the world in a different, more hopeful light.

2:24 PM  
Blogger Johan said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

10:04 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Kody, thank-you so much for this beautiful and insightful open letter. It speaks my mind as an older Friend. I am lesbian, participated in GLBT rights activism as a pastor in the Universal Fellowship of Metropolitan Community Churches and am currently involved in advocating that my yearly meeting, Canadian Yearly Meeting, maintain its affiliation with FUM for many of the same reasons as those you so articulately name. Keep the Faith! Virginia R.

6:40 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Kody, my treasured as-yet-unmet friend: Thank you for your anguished caring and your prayerful expression of it.
Thirty-five years into Quakerism, I view it as a God-inspired instrument, a light unto our feet as we pilgrims clumsily find our way home to an Ultimate beyond our imagining.
Shame on us if we waste our energies on inter-nicene strife! I disagree with FUM's personnel policy, but will not turn away from brothers and sisters on that basis alone. Instead, I will trust in time and the Spirit to show them a different way.
For now, FUM should make us in FGM ashamed in the face of their carrying Quaker charity into a larger and suffering world. God bless their efforts and lead us to emulate them. May God bless us all in His service!
Jim Atwell, NYYM

6:59 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Somtimes, I find my Meeting has left me.

I oppose divorce if the only reason is "incompatibility" or "irreconcilable differences." When my ex dumped me in his mid-life crisis, my Meeting would not stand behind the vows they had taken under their care. They would make no statement against his action.

I ofen feel that their response to my husband dumping me was in fact a kind of rape. I stood up and took vows, thinking I was surrounded by 150 people, when in fact I stood alone. I was the only one who actually believed what I was saying.

Similarly, I joined Friends with the understanding that this was a Pacifist group, with the understanding that I was making a commitment to go to prison rather than assist in any military endeavor. I made this commitment with great passion.

When a young man in our Meeting decided to join the Marines, individuals counseled him against it, but the Meeting would say nothing indicating that joining the Marines would be against the traditional peace testimony. Again, I felt betrayed -- that I had made this passionate commitment, lost a couple of jobs over it even, where I refused to do military work, much to my financial disadvantage -- and yet my Meeting would say nothing when this young man joined the Marines.

Now, I happen to believe in same sex marriage. My Meeting happens to agree with me on this. They support the rights of LGBTQ people and oppose the hiring policies of FUM. Me, too.

Sometimes I wonder why we are affiliated with FUM any more. What are we clinging to here? Why do we think these people are any more important to us than any other group? Any group of human beings might have something in common with us and we might make a connection we might value. Why this one? Isn't it mere history -- living in the past?

But then I have to wonder why I belong to my Meeting either, when I find some of their actions to be a total betrayal of things I am passionately committed to as a Friend. Sometimes I think of forming a group of Old Order Friends, like the Old Order Mennonites, who seek to reclaim old values; but then I think probably I couldn't conform to all old Quaker values myself and I could probably never find anyone who agrees with me on everything. If I wanted to worship with people who agree with me on absolutely everything, I would always worship alone.

That would be lonely. I like worshipping with other people around me.

Then I think maybe my Meeting is only a group of meditation buddies -- except that every so often they do reach unity to take stands on certain things, so there is something outside our desire simply to have meditation buddies.

As I sit there in Meeting, I see faces that I have seen sitting there for over 20 years. If I go someplace else, the faces will be unfamiliar. I still won't find people who agree with me about everything. I will still sometimes feel angry and betrayed. I may not find the silence I love. I may not find the freedom that lack of a creed can give me.

So here I am, with these people who are trying to hang onto a strange and possibly unworkable relationship with FUM, and writing remonstrances to them; all the while not being willing to do the same to my ex, who dumped me. And still I am sitting there -- at least some of the time, sitting in silence, worshipping together with these people, as I have done for over 20 years.

One of our members says that it's sort of like a family. We don't always get along with our family. We sometimes fight. Sometimes we are angry, but it's still a family.

And where else would I go?

11:44 PM  
Blogger Jami Hart said...

The eternal spirit of God is one in all, and that which divides one from another, is for judgment, for where division is, that is of the kingdom that cannot stand. So read where you are, for if you are in that which is divided, you cannot stand. So in love and tenderness to your souls, I warn and charge you from the Lord, keep in the light, which is one, and in the power, which is one, and in the measure of life made manifest in you, which is one and here is no division, nor separation, but a gathering and a knitting. And if you love the light, then you come to the light to be proved, and tried whether your works be wrought in God. But that which hates the light, turns from the light, and that shall be condemned by the light forever. And though you may turn from the light, where the unity is, and you may turn fro the eternal truth; but from the witness of God in your consciences, (which he hath places in you, which beareth witness for the living God,) you can never fly; that shall pursue you wherever you go. And they who turn out from the light, their resurrection is condemnation, and on the left hand they are put among the goats, and shall have their portion with hypocrites and unbelievers; and this shall be witnessed forever.
Margaret Fell 1655
from a General Epistle to Friends

4:33 PM  
Blogger (Aunt!) Maggie said...

My favorite ... "Hearts and minds change through relationship, not rhetoric."
This blog will be food for many souls and much consideration.
Blessings, dear friend.

6:19 AM  
Anonymous Amanda Kemp said...

"We are the ones that we have been waiting for..." Thank you for your service, your courage and your heart. You can go to sleep now. God's got this. And, don't worry; God will let you know when there's more for you to do.
much love,

11:15 PM  
Blogger Jami Hart said...

I regret not connecting with you at FLGBTQC MWG. So many of your reasons for not wanting to separate from FUM are the same reasons that I have paticipated in the dialogue with evangelical Friends through the Pacific Northwest Quaker Women's Theology Conferences since 1995. It is important that we do this in whatever venues open to us. I am holding you and SEYM and FUM in the Light.

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